Dear Phoebe,

Unnie, I’m having a strange summer in a familiar place. These days Seoul is always drenched in rain. It’s weird to see it rain so much even before the real rainy season comes.

 I mean, just like today. I went out to go for a walk this morning, and all of a sudden rain started to fall. I panicked, but didn’t want to go straight back home, so I decided to step inside a cafe that had just opened and ordered a cup of coffee. But there was no sign of clearing up when I finished my coffee. I chose to walk again, letting myself drenched like everything else outside. I remember you once said it rains hard where you live. Can rain be strange where rain is too familiar? I wonder what you would do when you get caught in such rain.

I appreciate your willingly accepting my offer, that is, to talk about our mother(s). And I’d like to add I’m sorry to equivocate when you asked me the question. The fact is, I do not really know why I want to talk about mother(s). They seem to cling to me when I read or write, and I just want to talk about them properly. But I’ve failed over and over. I don’t know why, but more reading seemed to make writing harder. But then I read your newsletter about films. It was a commemorative piece for Mother’s Day that introduced ten films featuring different types of mothers; I was reading it, yes, and without my knowing it I sent you the message: I wanna talk with you about mothers.

As soon as I sent it, I began to regret it. It does sound odd, you know, “Let’s talk about mothers,” out of nowhere. I was waiting for your reply, half excited, half worried. But then your message after like, two days was something wholly unexpected: “(...) would you be open to me talking about my grandmother instead?” What an answer! Thank you for that photo attached to your message. Young unnie in that photo has your grandmother’s smile. I wonder what and how much she means to you.

I wanted to talk about my mother Anna in my first letter, but I had to save it for the next one, or it would’ve been too long for one letter. Looking forward to hearing from you! I’ll take my time thinking more about our subject. Please you too take your time. We’re in no hurry.

Yours, 

July